A Roll in the Universe

In my ongoing journey to figure myself and life and all that stuff out, I’m now trying to learn about non-attachment. Attachment = expectation. In “The Shack”, they suggest you ditch the noun and go for the verb: Expecting. That is making more and more sense to me. Expectation sets you up for failure; expecting opens you up. I have noticed lately that unopened messages produce their own kind of stress in me. I have been feeling overwhelmed so am back on 50% sick leave (had tried to reduce to 30%). It just doesn't take much to get me worked up, and it doesn't feel like excitement or anticipation. It feels like dread. So not good. The thing is, it's just the mind playing tricks. Because every single message or email I opened was harmless. Utterly harmless. Nothing overwhelming or negative or difficult. Just a message. There are a variety of techniques for dealing with stuff, some physical (like taking deep breaths), some more mental (like saying you're safe as long ...

Most folks think of migratory birds returning from their winter in Africa or some place as the sign of spring. For me it's the screeching gulls. Gulls and April arrive at the same time. The moment April's lawns are no longer covered in snow, the gulls return from whatever open water they've been hanging out at. Squawking, screeching and calling, they start their racket (courtship, it's called) at around 4 am in the morning and pretty much don't let up until their babies can fly. So basically all spring and summer. I know that for many people, this means interrupted sleep for a few months. For some reason, I can sleep through gulls crying at godforsaken predawn. Some magpie trying to chatter-warn a cat will wake me up and keep me up, but gulls yammering away at each other soothes me. Herring gulls are losing their coastal habitat so they come to the cities. Here, there are flat roofs, often with gravel, that mimic the lost nesting areas on the coast. So up on ou...

Gulls herald spring for me. They head for open sea during winter, and when the snow disappears from the land in April, they come back and start screeching at each other at 4 am in the morning. I'm one of the few people who can sleep through that racket, so I welcome the noise. Gulls, in spite of their seemingly huge numbers, have become a protected species in Norway. They've lost their habitat by the ocean, and come into cities to build nests on our office buildings which often have gray gravel on the flat roofs and provide perfect camouflage for baby birds. The roofs of my apartment buildings are black asphalt but the gulls build their bowls of sticks there, too. Since April, I've seen a gull perched on the corner of the neighboring building every morning, as I go to shut my bedroom window (yes, I have the Norwegian habit of sleeping with an open window). Often the gull starts calling in a voice meant to carry across the Atlantic. I have been aware of gulls on the roof a...

Junior Gull has been spotted again, in good health and twice as big since last we saw the little one. An adolescent magpie was hanging out on the balcony outside my office window, and an adult gull was quite upset at the corvid's presence. A behavior the gull would have only if it had babies. Maybe Junior is fine after all? I assume so. A gull chick twice as big as Junior was when last seen (a week ago) was out on the mossy roof, oblivious to its parent's worry. So Junior's grown a mile or that's another gull chick. Whatever. There's a baby out there to watch! They do blend in with the gravel roofing

"Somebody needs to go check." "Janitor?" "He's on vacation. I'll do it." I learned that one of my co-workers gets into take-charge mode when it's about someone's life; in this case, a gull chick. I took a picture of Junior just the other day from my side of the building. This afternoon, one of the girls next to the window noticed an adult gull gave Junior a vicious peck. It looked like Junior may be hurt. The cause of drama at the office Curiosity and compassion got the better of the co-worker who saw the peck and the take-charge co-worker sitting next to her. They went out the emergency exit, onto the balcony surrounding our building. We happen to have the roof of the shopping center flush with our second floor balcony, a roof covered in gray gravel and perfect for nesting gulls. And right on the other side of our balcony, on the roof, next to a plank a roof worker had left, was where Junior was last seen. At one point, ei...

Prologue: On the way home from a midnight birdwatching session, I saw two tawny owls. First one by the side of road, and another atop a lamp post. Beautiful birds, calmly staring back at me. The myth is that old dogs can't learn new tricks. The truth is, we can, but we might need a bit more coaxing. And coffee. Last year, I was forced to switch jobs and with that, learn a whole new set of skills. I was wondering how my then 53-year-old brain would handle it. Turns out, it handled it just like a 23-year-old brain would: With patience, notes, and lots of coffee and candy. Because heavy-duty learning is exhausting ! I hadn't realized that. I just thought you're tired in college because of not enough sleep or something. Turns out you're tired because learning several new things every single day is like running a marathon every single day—but brains need more energy and more recovery time than bodies do. The brain marathon hasn't ended. There's always somet...

Wordless Wednesday

Sailing out from Copenhagen, on the ferry bound for Oslo, we pass by a long line of wind turbines standing tall out in the water. As "green" as I am, I have never liked the looks of the modern three-bladed wind turbine. There is something about them that bothers me. When I watch them turn, I find that there is no evenness to their rotation; visually, it looks to me like three Barbie doll legs, one "falling" down after another. (I have rarely seen these things moving so fast you can't make out the individual blades.) Apparently, these turbines are not as environmentally friendly as we are led to believe. In the county of Rogaland in Norway, one array is noise polluting a nearby neighborhood. I have read that the maximum three blades on modern turbines is chosen because it makes a minimum of noise. Still, anything that big, rotating in the wind, will make some sound. Another array was put in a white-tailed eagle breeding area two counties north of where I l...

Wordless Wednesday

A commenter to this movie on YouTube wished hawks were like dogs so you could pet them when they do stuff like this. That's what I was thinking! Birds of prey are both so beautiful and so graceful. Just how graceful is shown in this BBC video. I'm also fascinated by how feathers move in slow-motion.

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

It snowed during the night. And not the usual pathetic paper-thin layer that melts within hours we usually get. No, this snow landed in rich amounts on frozen ground. It'll stay as long as we have below-freezing temperatures. Wednesday I hung up a bird feeder with seeds, and a tallow ball with seeds on my balcony. One lone blue tit was on the feeder Thursday when I got home early enough to still have daylight. Yesterday, a couple of sparrows had found the feeders. This morning, a half dozen magpies sat in the little beech tree next to my building, and only a few feet away from my balcony. A little later, I looked out and saw a dozen sparrows in the beech tree and three on the tallow ball. I immediately thought of Alfred Hitchcock and grinned. All the birds keep fighting and jockeying for positions on the feeders, making me laugh out loud. The cagiest are the great tits, who are not yet comfortable when I come to the door. The sparrows are quicker not to mind a human shape. I...

A warm "fohn" wind blew yesterday morning. A cold and wet wind blew yesterday afternoon, and I - who didn't have an umbrella - took the bus home. Typical November weather. The wind comes in hard and sideways and dumps huge amounts of rain on you, also sideways. And it makes the darkening evening even darker. I didn't discover until I was an adult why I hated November as a child. I usually notice stuff, including stuff other people don't notice, but the autumns of my childhood are a mystery to me. I can't remember what they were like. Except for November. As an adult, however, I have solved the mystery. I simply hadn't had the sense to appreciate the brilliant colors of fall: The stunning golds and reds and yellows, that arrive slowly and leave so quickly. All I remembered was that one month where there was no color at all: November. November was just gray. Gray skies. Gray ground. Gray leaves. Gray trees. Gray weather. Gray, gray, gray. No wonder i...

Wordless Wednesday