A Roll in the Universe

“Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive others their trespasses.” Matthew 6:12 I remember when I first started to seriously forgive people with whom I had a difficult relationship. I thought forgiving them would end something. It didn’t. It started something (I wish I’d been warned). I thought forgiveness was a way to pull a bandaid off, revealing the healing wound underneath (warning: if you’re squeamish, this next part may be icky but it’s what I’ve got). But it was more like draining a cyst (I’ve done that a couple of times) and then the doctor packs the emptied hole and you have to keep getting that changed for up to a month while the wound heals from the bottom up, from the inside out. That’s what forgiveness starts: A process of healing you from within yourself. Surprisingly little to do with the other person, actually. It’s not about justice or lack of; it’s about masochism. By forgiving the other person (or even yourself), you’re basically no longer hurting yourself. The ot...

Obviously, something deep in my subconscious wants to imitate Nedry’s lock screen in “Jurassic Park”, doing his finger-wagging “Ah-ah-ah”. I had bronchitis in February. Was out sick for two weeks. Bronchitis was something I had a lot as a kid. Usually when the bullying over time finally got to me, my body would react with bronchitis. When I finally recovered, I blogged, intending to keep blogging. But I lost my routines, my momentum while sick and it took me until the end of March to get it back. That’s when I hurt a knee, just standing with a very straight leg on my living room floor. Sheesh. Got my PC from work delivered home because brain works, but dang, if this knee stuff isn’t darned distracting! After a week at home, a friend shopped for me and showed me a good exercise for knees. Can’t overdo it, though. Can’t do the steepest hill between my place and the office so have been taking the bus to work. It’s like everything just says “Ah-ah-ah” and I realize there’s somethi...

You can go find your copy of James Brown belting out "I feel good" if you want. My version is more low-key and without the groovy dance moves, but I do feel good. I like to thank ho'oponopono for that. So I'm going to talk about it again. I broke my own heart this past December. I visited my mother in Nevada and we had no fights, no snark, no desire to avoid each other. Decades of being dysfunctional were over. At one point, we sat at her dining room table, talking about my screwed up great-grandmother who managed to ruin three generations of daughters. Mom and I were now talking about how each of us had found a path that led us to healing and forgiveness, and that we now, finally, were the first mother-daughter pair that got along and had no issues. And it suddenly hit me that that is exactly what we had done: We reversed the habits of a dysfunctional family legacy. We grabbed each other's hand and said triumphantly, "We made it!" The love that had alw...

Birch flowers I can see a change in the silhouette of the birch tree in front of my building. The naked branches have filled in with small, oblong flowers that look nothing like a blossom but that herald the renewal of life—and allergies for those so stricken. Winter has surrendered to Spring, Nature's New Year. I wanted to say something smart and deep and wonderful at the start of the year on this new blog location. The closest I came was a line from a John Lennon song, sung by a co-worker at Christmas: "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)" . I heard the line "without any fear", and that pretty much summed up 2014 for me. I had spent last year trying to get rid of fear. The fear in my thinking, in my heart, in my knee-jerk reactions. I have used ho'oponopono mostly, and some ideas from "A Course in Miracles" (ACIM). More and more I follow the advice from ACIM and ask the Holy Spirit for guidance. And when I do, I have the loveliest day. I still do ...

My Daily Tarot app gave me Four of Wands today. "[I]t's time to celebrate your accomplishments. You've had success in your journey. Take time to honor your hard work." Indeed it is. I have spent two weeks learning nothing but new things: All the various computer systems my company uses for back office sales support, and some of the tasks to be done with them. Today I verified "no claims" bonuses. Yes, I am finally working with insurance. After 31 years at the insurance company, I am finally learning what coverages are allowed with a leased car. I finally actually have to know that stuff. And I am having the time of my life learning it! My poor noggin was exhausted every single day for over week, being crammed with new information every single day. I'm still getting used to that. I also sit in front of a computer in a different way than with the graphic designing. Can't quite explain it. Maybe it's just all the thinking I have to do. At any...

Ever since I discovered the ho'oponopono practice of forgiveness and healing about 3 years ago , I have used it, pursued it, and experienced healings big and small. I have taught it to a few friends. To my delight, they have embraced it and discovered for themselves the instant peace that comes with cleaning (as using ho'oponopono is called; you are cleaning your subconscious of unhelpful beliefs). My friend Alice showed me this picture she took from her hotel window in London: Every morning, I started my day by looking out that window. ILY, ILY, ILY. It was a beautiful way to start the morning. Every day, I felt the embrace of the city and I'd like to think that the city felt my ILYs. We certainly had nothing but pleasant interactions with people (and in fact, a few times, we had people offer unsolicited help!). I responded to her with this: The ho'oponopono "trick" of repeating to yourself "I love you" when in a negative situation really...

A miracle is an authentic switch from fear to love. When we speak from the ego, we will call up the ego in others. When we speak from Holy Spirit, we will call up their love. In 1967, my whole family fell apart. Mommy, Daddy, baby sister and I all ended up at separate addresses. I spent the next eight years living with my maternal grandparents—seven of those years in Norway. I saw my mother every two years during this, and my father and sister not at all. No wonder my parents’ divorce left me in such turmoil. It wasn't the end of just a marriage; it was the end of an entire family. The harm done was lessened with the love from my maternal grandparents. The problem with not growing up under the same roof as your parent(s) is that you end up not knowing them. Nor they you. For over 40 years, my mother and I struggled with having the label mother and daughter, but not the relationship. In metaphysical circles, we are told we get the parents we deserve because we planned it th...

I am going down yet another rabbit hole. It diverges from the one I was falling down about a year and a half ago . At least somewhat. All roads lead to Rome, but not all are main highways and will get you to your final destination; they do move you forward, though. My new rabbit hole is all about how, if I forgive everyone and everything, we will all cease to exist and happily so. Some background: I accidentally learned of ho'oponopono . In looking for more information, I ended up reading Joe Vitale's book "Zero Limits" (and I really liked it). All my decades of swearing to affirmations to accomplish something got set aside while I instead practiced on chanting "I love you" inside my head. I have since gone back to using my usual morning affirmation since that seems to be such a good set-up for me and my day. 1 However, the ho'oponopono method makes perfect sense to me and it is far simpler (and more foolproof) than affirmations. Affirmations req...

Some time last month, I was listening to a new spiritual podcast, and the speaker said that we can all heal ourselves and each other by stating, "I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you." Apparently, this series of four short statements healed all the patients of a psychiatric facility, simply by being uttered by a doctor while he was looking at the patient files. I was intrigued. So I googled the phrase and discovered it comes from a Hawaiian spiritual ritual called ho'oponopono .* I found a blogpost that described this "cleaning" process. I found an online article claiming that you can heal the whole planet with ho'oponopono because everything that comes into your sphere of experience is your responsibility.** I searched Amazon for books describing ho'oponopono. I bought Mable Katz 's book "The Easiest Way" .*** And her title may not be an exaggeration. After reading her short book, I have replaced my usual rit...