Lately, all my reading and listening to the webcasts from Oprah's shows on "A New Earth" with Eckhart Tolle, keeps pointing out that we are essentially whole. The body is essentially healthy; disease is layered on top of the health. Our souls are also well, seeming not to be only because of a clutter of pain and fear layered on top. And all my reading and listening says that if you stop dwelling on the thoughts of pain and fear, you will automatically become whole - or more correctly, rediscover your wholeness. The habitual backdrop of pain and fear in your thinking can be stopped using several methods, but they all have one similarity: Replace an undesirable thought with a better one.
When I attended a local course on the Law of Attraction, the habitual bad thoughts were identified as those that often contain the word "not". When you start speaking in negatives - "I can't lose weight" or "I don't like my job" - the way to take control is to stop and ask yourself what you do want. It's positive, proactive, empowering and calming to reframe your thoughts like that, as well as helping you become aware of what you'd rather have in life.
Eckhart Tolle says that the way to deal with habitual bad thinking and resultant emotional reactions - not by repressing them, but by acknowledging them and becoming aware of their triggers. That last means trying to notice when you have an emotional reaction that is too big or strong for the situation that provoked it. Then you've identified a pain that is interfering with your wholeness. Observe it and try to feel what it has to say to you, then let it move on. Let yourself move on. Tolle encourages us to focus on staying in the present moment, in the now. When you do, it's impossible to worry.
Another technique, which I've used the most, is to use affirmations. In one sense, an affirmation is the way to answer the question "What do I want?" By wording yourself using a positive, affirmative, present-tense sentence whenever the undesirable thought or reaction occurs, you can reprogram your reaction. Better still is to use the affirmation pro-actively, before the situation that can trigger a pain reaction is likely to happen.
With all of the above, you can stop and take a deep breath to give yourself a moment to help you center yourself. You can use this breath both to help you become more aware and to avert the negativity.
All of the above methods get easier with practice. The speed with which you will recognize when you are slipping into an automatic and negative reaction will be quicker and quicker as you practice on becoming more aware. It takes 3-4 weeks to get a new habit, and the nice thing about a habit like this is the feeling you get from dedicating several minutes a day (and more than once a day, if you want) to thinking good thoughts about yourself and your wants. It imparts both peace and joy.