Philosopher, heal thyself

I saw my acupuncturist today. I knew I had to give her bad news and make a decision about whether or not to keep trusting her. You have to wonder at the "signs" one can get: I opened the same door as the last time I was there, and walked into a room I didn't recognize. I actually backed up a step to re-read the sign on the door. Yep, same sign as before. But things were definitely different, and I was desoriented. I recognized the corner bookshelf where the herbs were, and the two cash registers. I distinctly remembered a coat rack last time I was there. This time there was no place to put my wet umbrella or hang my coat. I asked my acupuncturist about the look of the room and she laughed and said they were constantly remodeling.

Well, I told her that the herbal treatment sucked. She was a bit surprised at my reaction to the treatment; I was the first patient she'd had that had such problems with the herbs. I admitted that perhaps I should have told her I'm not quite like everyone else. Then she offered to fix my poor gut with just acupuncture. I said no thanks. I told her this wasn't for me. I was a bit surprised I was saying that, and so was she, and she was disappointed. However, she waived the fee for today's appointment since she wasn't giving me anything. I thought that was very nice of her. I paid for the herbs and left.

There was some relief. Decision made. I thought about it on my way home, and realized that part of my decision was not feeling a connection to my acupuncturist. No chemistry. You need to feel connected to your therapist, feel able to completely relax and trust her, and tell her anything if you're going to be going to her regularly for personal stuff. I didn't feel anything negative from mine, but I also didn't feel "right" about it all.

I started wondering what was going on with me. I usually have good health and I'm not usually prone to running to all sorts of healers and what have you to fix what's wrong with me physically, partly because it's simply not my philosophy. Think Louise Hay's "You Can Heal Your Life". In fact, I was thinking about Hay's book, about the philosophy behind it (she's a Science of Mind minister), and about an article about prayer I had just read. And I realized that this time around, it's not about being helped by someone else; this time, I fix my own health problems. I have the tools. I just have to use them.

I decided to take the days up to the Easter holidays off from work; I have the vacation time. This means I'll have plenty of time to pray, meditate, do yoga, use EFT, and see if I can't walk my own talk.