Fragments
Do you ever get to a point where you feel like you need to just stop everything - stop what you're doing, stop commitments, stop routines, stop time - just so you can think? Because you need time to think to identify what's rattling around in your brain? Because what you're really trying to do is give form to your thoughts?
That's where I am these days.
So many fragments looking for something to join with are floating in and out of my awareness. There is a theme of sorts, a recurring theme that seems to be the common link between these fragments. And that is why I feel they can be gathered together and finally coalesce into cohesive, conscious thought. But I have to give them the peace and quiet to do so. I have to give myself that peace and quiet.
I realize that it has been too long since I meditated on a regular basis. Too long since I let myself commune with myself, without interruption and without hurry. Too long since I let myself simply be, just read, think and ponder, and let any new ideas and new conclusions emerge in a mind open and calm enough to notice.
Some of my fragments involve my physical enviroments - body and home. Today I realized that both represent the same energies in my life. That's a thought that I need to pursue and crystallize.
Other fragments have to do with the direction I want to take with my blogs and my writing. I need some kind of renewal. These thoughts are vaguer than the body/home thoughts, yet they may all have the same source in the end.
Yet other thoughts revolve around faith and my current sense of separation, which sort of loops back to the body thing.
There is always a common thread in these things.
I need to just stop and follow that thread.
Comments
I so identify with what you've written above. It feels like a turning point of sorts right now - after months and months of just doing what I had to do to get by, suddenly I'm in a much different headspace, and I'm waiting for my body to catch up. Or something like that.
Yet other thoughts revolve around faith and my current sense of separation, which sort of loops back to the body thing.
Yeah, I been gettin' grenaded, too. Me sorry I haven't been able to keep up here.
max
['But this internet in antartica thing is improving it so far.']
Sravana, that's what's happening here, too. Like emerging from hibernation, but still not fully awake.
Max, so how's Pluto in Cap workin' for ya? ;-) (I think I'm enjoying it, myself. I'm certainly having fun with T Jup on N Ven.)
I haven't decided. Everybody was droppin' dead there for awhile and the economy is screwed. So that's bad. Also, March was supposed to be romance much; not so much. OTOH, beats the shit out of Saturn in Leo. UGH.
max
['I bruised my hands mowing the lawn!']
At any rate: Saturn in Virgo has been much nicer or anyways, a lot less mean to me.
max
['So good. Nothing happening tho: bad!']