Feb 4, 2013

And the other shoe drops

Unlike what other people I know experienced, 2012 was a laid-back year for me. I entered the new one, ready for action. Today, I got a taste of what might be in store: I've been asked to stand for election to my co-op's steering committee, an office that is for two years at a time. Right away, I think about Saturn transitting Scorpio during that time frame - in my house of community, groups and friends. I won't know for sure, one way or the other, until later this spring, but the fact that I've gotten this sort of attention tells me I'm no longer at rest; I'm on the move again.

In other news, I've finally become an adult. I'm finally starting to understand this business of taking care of home and stomach on a regular basis. At the age of 52, I'm cooking every day for myself (or reheating leftovers from an earlier meal), and my home is fairly tidy (next step: get it fairly clean). I even try to dress like a grown-up, trying to class up my usual sweater-and-jeans look. With repetition comes knowledge; with knowledge comes creativity (know the rules so you know how to break them). I accidentally made a good dish of salmon baked in crushed orange seasoned with oregano because I didn't understand the recipe. But by then, I understood enough of the process to trust a bit of going rogue.

I'm even getting back into arts and crafts. Well, crafts. I haven't touched knitting needles since the 80's, but knitted a scarf in one day, and thoroughly enjoyed it. There's a certain trepidation about doing something unfamiliar, something you could err with, but I found that I didn't care. My attitude was that it didn't matter. The yarn was cheap, the concept easy, and so I settled in with an expectation of fun, not failure. I still have that feeling - and six new balls of yarn waiting to be turned into a seat cover. Again, no pressure, just anticipation.

This attitude is also coming more to the forefront at work. There is absolutely nothing anyone can do to stop change or down-sizing or restructuring. Such is the nature of organizations: They expand and contract and shift. I heard myself saying that we older employees just need to understand that the company's future is in the hands of the younger employees; it's their turn to create and produce and lead. And the moment I said that, I realized that I was willing to stop being "young and promising", and pass the torch on. I am willing to let the next generation do their best; I won't keep telling them how we've always done things. Times have changed, and that's that. What I can do is allow myself to be flexible and learn new ways.

The forward momentum I'm now feeling is pleasant and encouraging. I intend to welcome changes and challenges without fear. Fear is no fun, anyway. The motto for 2013 seems to be "Accept the unknown happily". I'm behind that!