I haven't felt much like writing this past week. I'm basically PMS-ing. Life as a woman at my age is puberty in reverse, with hormones all over the place and affecting moods, sleep, food cravings, and, temporarily, the size of my rack (I could be a page 3 girl). This time I was also feeling quite introverted (as in I Really Do Not Want To Interact With Another Human).
So a little bit about what I've been up to this past week:
A local flea markeet got a lot of books, some knick-knacks, an iron frying pan and Grandma's sewing machine, which I had borrowed years ago to sew curtains with. Never did. In clearing out my bookcase, I came across "The Messiah Stones" and decided to read it. I'm glad I read it, but it's not a keeper and will go to the next flea market. But one thing the author claimed in this religious novel was that God would not save the soul of anyone who had taken a life, raped, or bought or sold a slave. That didn't sit right with me. The book refers to reincarnation but makes no allowances for karma or atonement. I also thought the choice of crimes was a bit odd. I'm guessing that the choices are founded in taking away another person's dignity or freedom but a number of other scenarios, like psychological abuse in a marriage, would also fit that bill.
At any rate, I am delighted by the new empty spot on my living room floor.
I'm still struggling with keeping a peaceful and friendly attitude at work. My old habits/attitudes have resurfaced, making September this year too much like September last year. So I'm back to using a peace affirmation while hunting for the right "hook" for handling my co-worker. I find that pride is definitely getting in the way. I so want to be Right, but that's neither possible nor useful. I came across a nice post on humility today at Lifehack.org which said in part:
If some of our common behaviors in workplaces are an indication, we don't understand humility very much at all.
Those who are humble, feel the rest of us are pretty interesting. Those with humility have a genuine desire to discover what other people can offer. They are intrigued by how others think, and how others feel differently from them.
Thing is, I'm not intrigued by how others think or how they feel differently from me. I can't relate even if I do find out what makes the other person tick. A lack of empathy? I know that there is a danger of always believing that I make sense, I'm smart, I'm practical, and if there's a problem, it's at your end. There's that pride thing - and it makes me impatient, too. But the article on humility certainly gives me food for thought. I have never been humble and I never connected it to being interested in other people, though that connection makes sense to me (and it was a hallmark of Grandma's).
As for mind being over matter, a researcher thinks he's figured out why and how. A taste:
By studying patients with chronic inflammatory diseases who use biofeedback techniques to relax, he has recently found that these individuals have higher vagus nerve activity and lower levels of an important “proinflammatory cytokine” - an immune system chemical that promotes inflammation - that is typically elevated during inflammation. The implication is that people with chronic inflammatory diseases such as Crohn’s, rheumatoid arthritis and peripheral vascular disease may be able to “think” their way to feeling better.
(Via Whitely Strieber's Unknown Country which gives a nice summary.)
Autumnal activities for me include catching the birch tree changing color (see picture; Autumnal Equinox on the 23rd, GMT) and attending a tapas cooking class. Delicious food (yummy gazpacho soup leftovers in fridge) with garlic in every dish. Boy, am I going to be fun to talk to for the next 6 weeks. ;-)
In other news, Grandma's birthday is tomorrow, and I find it a bit unreal that this is the second birthday without her and it still pisses me off and makes me cry.
But tomorrow is also FRIDAY and the weekend! YAY!
PS: My reading glasses were making my eyes tired so I had my vision re-tested, and it turns out that my last prescription did not take my astigmatism into consideration but focused (!) on other needs. Lesson learned: Must Honor Astigmatism. Tomorrow I pick up new glasses. Not a moment too soon. Typing this post has been done with letters swimming in and out of focus and a headache hanging around, waiting for an invitation (which it won't get).