Dec 2, 2002

Pop, pop, pop a pill
See how it makes you feel
See if what makes you ill
Goes away
Pop, pop, pop a pill
See how it makes you feel
See if it takes away your ill
Today

I just found out my grandmother has been put on Zoloft. She has been in a reconvalescent home after breaking her arm, has been quite horrified at what the others look like (how infirm and old they are), has osteoporosis and a joint infection and so has a lot of pain, and she's been homesick. The doctor asked my grandmother how she felt, my grandmother answered "terrible", and the doctor concluded she is depressed. My grandmother thinks Zoloft is a pain-reliever. Right now, it's side-effect is to give her more pain.

I am an irritable person but I rarely get angry. Today I got so mad I yelled at the doctor (who yelled back and called me names) and I've had a knot in my stomach all day. The doctor did not agree in taking my grandmother off Zoloft at home to see if her mood would improve once she was away from the institution (and if it didn't, put her back on Zoloft). That's why I got mad.

I can't do anything. My grandmother is in possession of all her faculties and she herself answered "yes". (Everyone is conveniently forgetting that my grandma is 92 and does not speak Norwegian nor understand it well, and the doctor is herself a foreigner with an accent so thick even I couldn't understand her.)

It's too easy for some doctors to tell you to just pop, pop, pop a pill.