May 2, 2003

I have not been in a good mood this week. I blame PMS because it started with that, but I think it's more than that. Doesn't help that today started off badly, with a phone call from the home nursing staff, telling me that my grandma fell last night and cut her head. She's been admitted for observation at the hospital.

My first reaction was utter irritation, then panic. Then I told myself that Grandma had not lost consciousness, she herself had asked the nurses to notify me, and she's still a tough old bird, though "old" is getting more weight than "tough".

But I just don't feel up to it.

I haven't felt down in a long while. Depressed. Now I can feel it sneaking up on me, and I don't think it's just the PMS. Little stuff is starting to overwhelm me. I'm feeling lost – and lonely again.

More later.